AI
Anela Izadi
Jul 27, 2025
10/10 Paws - Living the DreamđŸ
Hi, Iâm Cyrus. German Shepherd mix. 70% muscle, 30% opinions. Streetwise looks. Penthouse tastes. You may think Iâve been living under a bridge playing harmonica for spareribs, but noâ jokes on you â my ribs are grass-fed, delivered, and served on a silver plate.
So, my humans ditched me. Again. They call it âvacationâ (rude). I call it betrayal.
This was my third time staying at Paradise Pet Suites, so I guess Iâm basically a VIP now. I strutted in like I owned the place, tail high, ears up, and immediately did a full recon of the perimeter. Gotta keep the humans on their toes. Thatâs leadership.
They greeted me like the celebrity I am, let me sing them the song of my people (youâre welcome), and gave me all the belly rubs I deserve. I smiled. I winked. I may have flirted with a golden retriever. Sue me.
I didnât sulk. I made this place my kingdom. I peed on exactly 3 square inches of grass with the confidence of someone who owns a yacht. I barked at a squirrel-shaped cloud. I gave staff my signature smileâwhich is part adorable, part felonyâand demanded snacks like the royalty I am.
Thenâplot twistâmy humansâ plane got diverted and they were LATE picking me up. Like, 24 HOURS LATE. Classic. So, there I was, abandoned like a late-season Bachelor contestant. But did Kathy, Tom, and the folks at Paradise Pet Suits panic? Nope. They stayed past closing on a weekend just so I wouldnât have to spend another night listening to Gary, the drama-prone doodle who whispers conspiracy theories at bedtime and thinks the CIA is watching him through the security camera.
These humans? Heroes. Angels. Saints in dog hair. They get me. They fed me, loved me, tolerated my bedtime monologues, and didnât judge when I sang along with the tornado siren.
And let me tell you something else about this placeâŠItâs not just cozyâitâs like a Pinterest board had a baby with a spa day. Clean. Sparkling. Smells divine. They did me right. Washed, fluffed, and fabulous. I left looking like I had a skincare routine and a therapist. I walked out smelling like I just rolled in lavender and self-respect.
Highly recommend. Five paws. Ten bones. One loyal bark. Will return as soon as my humans ditch me again.
âCyrus IzadiđŸ
(aka CEO of Fluent in Sarcasm, Treat Law, and Emotional Blackmail)